Shayne-Michael.COMedy

Daily humor for people with short attention spans.

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Shayne Michael is a stand-up comic with twenty years experience. He has appeared in the Chicago Comedy Festival, on the San Francisco Comedy Invasion and the Psychiatric Comedy Tour.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

When Responding To An Online Dating Ad Remember

  1. Remember just like the camera adds ten pounds the internet takes at least twice that many away.
  2. When aiming for a virgin look for anyone who ends the word "player," with and "h."
  3. Men with the soul of a poet get beat up a lot.
  4. Homeless people like long walks along the beach too.
  5. Mild pschosis often comes across in-the-punctuation…… MARKS.
  6. Most people who still use the phrase "hit me up," are either still in high school or studying for their GED.
  7. Anyone looking for a soul mate will cling to shattered pieces of a torn relationship long after you filed the restraining order and moved away.
  8. There's a good chance anyone who begins the ad with Waz Up is watching the Scream trilogy stoned as we speak
  9. Someone who recommends a roaring fire and a candle lit dinner is either an arsonist or, at the very least, can't afford to eat out.
  10. It's likely ThAt SoMeOnE who alternates between lowercase and CAPITAL letters in the same sentence is suffering severe SpAsM problems.
  11. Someone who begins the ad with, "Looking for a playmate," is probably still 12.
  12. Anyone who's screen name is the Slap Master left off his last name Bates.
(c) 2007: This comedy blog was written by the Quiet Comic: SUBSCRIBE
ID#: 066/07

New @ Shayne-Michael.COM: The New Sitcom Page: I took some direction from IMDB, and built the popular character elimination game into the cast of each sitcom. To see it in action click on Details. Then cast. Then click on the + to vote for a character and the - to vote against a character.

Official Site: Shayne-Michael.COMedy: Features original humor dating back to 1989 and resources for comedians.

Why is it after joining Match.Com the only time anyone answers my ad is when you need me to renew my credit card information?

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the choice really depends on the person. One part of me feels like I have to be the one to fish through emails and look at profiles and go on a online dating that I choose because no one knows me better than I do. But another part of me would prefer an expert to match me up with someone and possibly eliminate those people I will not connect with. Maybe someday I will try both to see which works better.

11:23 AM  

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