When Responding To An Online Dating Ad Remember

1. Remember just like the camera adds ten pounds the internet takes at least twice that many away.
2. When aiming for a virgin look for anyone who ends the word "player," with and "h."
3. Men with the soul of a poet get beat up a lot.
4. Homeless people like long walks along the beach too.
5. Mild pschosis often comes across in-the-punctuation…… MARKS.
6. Most people who still use the phrase "hit me up," are either still in high school or studying for their GED.
7. Anyone looking for a soul mate will cling to shattered pieces of a torn relationship long after you filed the restraining order and moved away.
8. There's a good chance anyone who begins the ad with Waz Up is watching the Scream trilogy stoned as we speak
9. Someone who recommends a roaring fire and a candle lit dinner is either an arsonist or, at the very least, can't afford to eat out.
10. It's likely ThAt SoMeOnE who alternates between lowercase and CAPITAL letters in the same sentence is suffering severe SpAsM problems.
11. Someone who begins the ad with, "Looking for a playmate," is probably still 12.
12. Anyone who's screen name is the Slap Master left off his last name Bates.

(c) 2007: This comedy blog was written by the Quiet Comic: SUBSCRIBE
ID#: 066/07

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Why is it after joining Match.Com the only time anyone answers my ad is when you need me to renew my credit card information?